Letting Go of the Perfect Family Trip
We recently packed up our five kids, snacks galore, and hit the road for a long-anticipated family trip to Florida. I had the Pinterest version of the trip playing in my head—sunshine, laughs, bonding, and maybe a few sweet sibling moments to tuck in my heart. While we had some of those beautiful memories… we also had something else:
🚐 A car wreck.
💥 A marital fight in front of the kids.
🌧️ **Real life reminders that perfection isn’t the goal—**emotional connection is.
Here’s what I learned and what I hope every parent can take with them on their next family adventure:
1. Fights Happen—Even on Vacation
On the way down, my husband—exhausted from hours of driving—snapped at the kids. I reacted. We argued. Right there in the car, in front of our children.
At first, I felt shame. We’re the parents. We “should” be modeling calm all the time, right?
But then I remembered: our kids don’t need perfect parents—they need real ones.
Arguing in front of your children isn’t the end of the world. What matters most is that they see what comes next.
2. Modeling Repair Is a Gift
After things cooled down, we made sure to repair in front of the kids. Not just quietly between us—but out loud, so they could hear:
Acknowledgment of what happened
Taking responsibility
Reaffirming our love and commitment to each other—and to them
Then we checked in with each of the kids.
👉 “How did that feel for you?”
👉 “Did anything about that scare you or confuse you?”
Letting them process the moment helped them feel seen and safe—and taught them that conflict doesn’t have to mean disconnection.
3. Prepare Emotionally—Not Just Logistically
Before your next trip, ask yourself:
What will I do if I have big feelings?
What will I do if my partner gets overwhelmed?
How can we co-regulate with our kids in tight spaces like the car or a hotel room?
We make checklists for snacks and swimsuits—why not one for emotional preparedness?
Try having a pre-trip family meeting:
🗣️ "What can we do if someone feels overwhelmed?"
🛑 "What are our cues that someone needs a break?"
🤝 "How can we support each other?"
4. Expect the Unexpected—and Roll With It
Oh—and did I mention? We wrecked our van.
Yup. At the start of our trip. Everyone was okay (thankfully), but it meant switching gears to a rental vehicle and totally shifting our plans.
This could’ve derailed the trip emotionally too—but we made the conscious choice to adapt. Flexibility is a vacation superpower.
When kids see us roll with the punches (even with a few tears and frustrations), they learn that we can be okay even when things don’t go as planned.
5. There’s No Such Thing as a Perfect Trip—But You Can Create Meaningful Moments
Our trip wasn’t flawless.
But it was memorable. And we made it fun, even when things got hard.
And we came back stronger—not just as a family, but as individuals who learned how to navigate emotional storms together.
So if your next family vacation includes meltdowns, missed turns, or unexpected bumps—remember:
💜 Connection over perfection.
💜 Repair over regret.
💜 Presence over performance.
You’ve got this. And if all else fails—just pack extra snacks. 😉
